Making a career change is stressful. It doesn’t matter what age, race or gender you are, it’s just not an easy thing to do. From my own experience, and from what I have seen in others, men have a unique challenge that stems from their upbringing and from social pressures that, for many men, help to define their manhood. I remember reading a 2018 article published in the Journal of Social Issues entitled Work as a Masculinity Contest, where the authors talk about men’s single-minded focus on job success and how that pushes them upward on the career ladder. That’s nothing new but what is new is that these are changing times, and this isn’t your father’s workplace anymore.
A New Landscape
COVID19 has changed the workplace landscape. For many, it has added to the stresses of their jobs and made their futures less predictable. This is especially challenging for people who are in mid and late career, and for men it’s a particular challenge. Even before COVID, changes were in the works for a while. Traditional jobs were being outsourced and replaced with short-term projects, contracts and assignments. Gone are the days of the traditional linear, up the ladder, career path which many experienced male workers were used to. It’s a dynamic workplace these days, and work is being redefined. For many men, that means redefining themselves to fit the new paradigm. It’s not easy but there is opportunity in this work environment for men who know how to adapt and can reassess their place in the world.
For generations, women have faced their share of challenges with issues such as pay equity and workplace culture, but men also have issues, and these tend to be centered more on their male identity. It may sound like a stereotype but for many men in mid-life, work defines who we are and gives our lives meaning. It’s this vocational identity that is ingrained in the male psyche so when someone says “tell me about you”, we start by saying what we do for a living, as if every person we meet is giving us a job interview. It’s fine, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s who we are. It’s our masculinity that often defines our success in society. It makes us want to feel productive and that productivity largely comes from work. Work creates meaning and purpose, which makes it all the harder when we are unemployed, or even underemployed to the extent that we lose our sense of meaningful contribution.
I always tell people that change is opportunity. Uncertainly, as unsettling as it is, gives us a chance to look inward to reassess who we are and what is important to us. I know from my own experience of job hunting and career change, that one of the worst things is to stay safe within your comfort zone and just ride the wave. That’s the idea behind process improvement strategies in the world of business. Never just accept the status quo as the way that is best. Always reassess and reinvent, either out of necessity or for your own personal development. These changing and unpredictable times offer us an opportunity to do just that.
Taking Advantage of the Opportunity
As the well known career theorist John Krumboltz noted in 1999, careers are often influenced by unexpected circumstances and unplanned events. Well, here we are in the middle of both of those things! For many men, job stability is paramount and making changes in an established career is not even a consideration, but this is a changing world. If you are not in a career that you find fulfilling and invigorating, use this time of uncertainty as a wake up call to potentially something better. Studies have shown that men who identify as being in a satisfying career also say they have a healthier family life, better personal relationships and more meaningful community engagement. Yes, you can have it all, and now is the time to think about how.
I’m not saying to ditch your job as a project manager and try out to be a major league baseball pitcher, but I am saying to take this time to reassess your career path and explore your options. Broaden that single-minded focus on career success to include other ways where you can make a difference and move the needle. Take it as a challenge to see how you can best be the man you want to be, then make it happen.
Yes, there are many things to consider, finances being a key factor, but don’t let that hold you back from brainstorming and at least testing out ideas. Once some new ideas come to light, you can do some research and reflection on the type of work that really calls to you and gives you purpose, or at the very least sounds interesting. Once you pin that down, you can chart your own course, create your own stability and have more control over your future. How do you do that? By following the three Cs.
Create: Create a list of possible job and/or career options that really work for you and make you feel like you are living your life on purpose.
Communicate: Talk to people about these ideas, brainstorm and get feedback. Talk about what you want in life and aim high. Then keep the connections going and see if you can turn your dreams into reality.
Co-navigate: Don’t do it alone. Whether it’s with a spouse, friend, career coach, or your brother-in-law Tony, find someone who will support you on your way and help to hold you accountable.
As a man, I struggled with all these things in the past. When you are in a comfortable career, the last thing you want to do is rock the boat and think about how you can make some big changes. Communication can be a challenge too, and men are not typically encouraged to share how they feel and what they want out of life but trust me, it really helps to speak your mind. It’s your life after all! And as for co-navigating, I always thought I could handle things on my own and be self-reliant but I found out that it held me back and slowed me down from making progress. Live and learn.
Control the Situation
I’ve been there so I know what it’s like to feel stuck in a job and not know a way out. I got tired of it all so I started to open my mind to possibilities and make some changes. They didn’t all work out but I found that just going through the process led to greater confidence and resilience, and a greater openness to look at how I can best live my life.
Maybe you are OK with where you are in your life and career but is OK good enough? Only you can decide that but I encourage all you men out there to take stock of where you stand, take control of your future, and see if you can make it better. And not just for yourself but for the people around you. We’ve all had that grumpy boss or coworker who just brings everyone down and sucks all of the air out of the room. Plenty of people are not doing what they really want for a living, and that makes them less productive, less focused, and really not that much fun to be around. I can tell you from experience, doing what you want to be doing in a career is a win-win for everyone. Sign me up for that!
It’s a changing world, and it’s a great time to initiate self-directed change rather than have unexpected circumstances forced upon you. If you are a take-charge kind of guy, now is your time! Resist the temptation to automatically do what is safe and comfortable, at least until you have considered your options. Remember, change is opportunity. Here’s your chance to take advantage of this opportunity and see if you can improve your work life, as well as your overall quality of life. You can do this guys. Do a little soul searching and challenge yourself to do better. Then make it happen!
